"Forced Plastic Surgery For Children"

One of the interns at Fashionista wrote this post about how crooked teeth are sorta chic. Part of me is all "hell yeah" about it, the other part of me is all for waking up when I'm 29 and having straight teeth. The one thing that bothered me about the post was a quote from the writer's friend, saying that orthodontics is forced plastic surgery for children. While for me, I'm getting braces for the most vain reason, they will also prevent future problems down the road. Maybe if I had gotten them as a kid, I wouldn't have a sideways wisdom tooth that is going to cause more (short term) pain post-op than it has up to this point in my life. So I'm going to have to disagree on that comment. 

Just sayin'.

Finally, Progress...In A Few More Months

After a particularly fun and late night, I receive a phone call at 6:55am. It was the surgeon's office seeing if I could come in earlier that day. After some consideration regarding 1 more hour of sleep vs. 3 more hours of sleep, I agreed to come in at 9:30. 

My bearings were off in regards to where BU Medical Center was and made my appointment just in time thanks to the parking situation as a result of the rainy weather. I do the paper work song and dance, list Mike as my next of kin, hand over the insurance card and pray they accept it. They do and I question how much they cover (which I had done with the insurance company too, when I started this pain in the ass, er, mouth process). Dental covers 6 extractions and health covers the impacted, which needs approval. I believe the insurance company referred to any impacted teeth as "completely boney". Quite a lame term if you ask me.

I play the guessing game of which doctor was going to be the one I was meeting with. I guessed right. A nurse escorts me to an exam room where I crack jokes about adult braces and what a fun process this surgery was going to be because of my sideways wisdom tooth. After waiting 10 minutes, I realize I should've taken a picture of my pan x-ray that was up on the light board. But I got nervous, thinking that the second I reach for the camera, the doctor would walk in. Within 5 minutes, I meet the doctor, a tall man with an Indian accent.

He has a no bullshit way about him, which means I can't gauge if he thinks my comments are funny or annoying. He gives me the run down and tells me that because I'm 26 and not 16, that I run a higher risk of complications during surgery. Well, I think to myself, this is not starting off on the right foot. He gets into detail about how he will extract the wisdom teeth - the top, piece of cake; the bottom, not so much. The lower right is also impacted but easy to remove. The sideways tooth, he might possibly have to cut the bone (yikes) and will definitely have to break the tooth in half to remove. He tells me that because the root of the tooth is so far back in my jaw, he may just leave it to avoid damaging the nerve. If the nerve is damaged, I run the risk of losing all feeling in my lower lip and possibly my tongue for the rest of my life. Wowzer!  However, the surgeon says that he routinely handles such difficult extractions, which is a relief.

He answers my inquiries: he can do all 8 teeth at once because whether you pull 4 or 8, it will hurt just the same since it's all on the same nerve. May as well get it all out of the way (agreed). I will have to get an IV (ack! I've never had one before and that makes my knees weak just thinking about it). The surgery will take 30 to 40 minutes (I was thinking 3 hrs). I will hate him for at least 4 days afterward and can only eat ice cream, mashed potatoes, etc. I told him I would love him for that, at least the food part. I will swell up like a small chipmunk because of the impactions. I also run a high risk of dry socket and cannot suck (don't go there) anything like straws or cigarettes (well, I don't smoke cigarettes). I forgot to ask if my preventative steroid inhaler for my asthma counts. It will probably take 2 weeks for me to heal. 

So D-Day is February 12th, 2009 at 8:15am. Unfortunately, February 11th is the one year anniversary of Achilles. Hope we have the party beforehand. I'm also inviting over all my friends to hang out on our pull-out couch and watch movies on Valentine's Day to cheer me up.

With the date locked on my oral surgery (and if all goes well), I will probably be getting the braces at the end of March. This now means that I will be wearing braces until April or July 2011. Hopefully this will all be done with before my 29th birthday. Jesus, that makes me feel old. And lame...

[sidenote: Mike and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary this month. While many people (including his mother) expected for me to return back to Boston sporting a new piece of fine jewelry, it didn't happen. Mike did mention though, that I should hurry up and get my braces off so we can get engaged... or at least get the damn things on. Predictions, anyone?]

What's A Girl Gotta Do To Get Some Teeth Pulled Out Of Her Jaw Around Here!?!

Before I even bother calling either oral surgeon my shitty dental insurance offered, I enlisted the help of my cavalcade of dentists (minus the ortho, because I like and trust my other doctors more). The handsome dentist, who teaches at BU, did not recommend the surgeon at BU, which I found alarming. The ancient dentist said if the guys at BU's first name was whatever (I forget - this all happened more than a month ago), that's who I should see because he's "spectacular". So I googled the doctor at BU, and low and behold, he's the head of maxiofacial oral surgery at the dental school. Score (!), right? Wrong. He retired in July. I was livid (and still am) at the insurance company for recommending a surgeon who's been out of practice for several months. Guess the handsome dentist had good reason not to recommend the guy at BU.

Next step was calling the surgeon in the South End and making a consultation. Turns out that the office that was recommended to me does not take my f-ing insurance. However (!), the surgeon also has a practice at BU! The receptionist gives me the number to the BU office, which she guarantees will take my shitty insurance. I call, ask if they take my insurance (yes) and ask to set up a consultation.

At this point in the game, I'm under the assumption that, like my other dentists that I'm paying out of pocket for, I can just waltz in there in a week or two, get the consultation and book the surgery for what I was hoping to be around Thanksgiving. This would mean I could probably get the braces on before New Years. Well, that was a reality check, because the earliest I could get a consultation appointment was February 2009. Unacceptable! The girl suggested that I see if I can get the consultation at the original office (the one that doesn't accept my insurance) and transfers me back. 

Luckily, I got a particularly sympathetic woman on the phone. I cry that I just want someone to pull my damn teeth out as soon as possible. She was so sweet and did me a favor. She booked an appointment for the second week of December at the BU office. I'm forever grateful. Mind you that this was early November. This is what I get for putting this off for a month.

Dental Insurance SUCKS!

Up to this point, all of my dental work has been paid out of pocket, whether that pocket be mine or Mike's (I got stuck with the $900 onlay bill a few short hours after going shopping for my birthday dress). As far as oral surgery goes, I knew I would have to go through my insurance because if not, it would tack a good $10,000 to the overall bill (that's a general estimate, I never really got a quote). When I was in the ortho's office for my conference, they sent out films to the surgeon they recommended and handed me with a note and films for the surgeon the handsome dentist recommended. Ideally, I wanted to make an appointment with the guy the handsome dentist offered since he's in town and the ortho's guy is in Wellsley (a good 20 or so minutes away). 

That all being said, neither surgeon is covered by my insurance. In the state of Massachusetts, it is required by law that all residents of the state have health insurance. I've been freelancing basically my entire adult life thus have nowhere to turn to since Mike changed his insurance when he quit his job to open the store (I was his domestic partner on his plan - luckily MA is a progressive state when it comes to such relationships). I applied for the insurance offered by the state way before this insurance law went into effect (I wonder how they keep track of who doesn't have insurance and what the consequences are). My tax return for the prior year boasted a pathetic income (I only earned less than 6 months of taxable income) and I qualified for health insurance that is a step above welfare insurance. 

With the Commonwealth Connector plan, my premium is $0 and I pay $5 for doctors visits within the network. Of the 4 health plans to choose from, I took Network Health because it had dental within the plan when the other plans did not. I also ironically assisted with styling and production for a promotional ad campaign for them last year. Up until now, my only effort to deal with the dental portion of the plan was a frustrating call that was computerized, asked me what my zip is and responded with 3 listings at a practice on the other side of the neighborhood. Needless to say, they never answered or returned my phone call. I deemed them - Durrell - useless.

Now armed with the names of 2 oral surgeons, I refer to the network book mailed to me in spring 2007 (which is terribly off, btw). One surgeon (the ortho's guy) was listed with a practice at Beth Israel. I called his Wellsley office that I was referred to, asked if they accepted my insurance (no), and inquired about the doctor's status at BIDMC. Apparently, he hasn't practiced there in a while. All I could think is I'm screwed. 

Here begins many calls to Durrell, which must operate it's call center from an old age home, because I did not speak to anyone who sounded remotely young. The information that I got, like the automated system that turned me off in the first place, were doctors names and phone numbers. Two were listed for Boston and the third mentioned was in Somerville, at which point I told the guy to just stop. I hung up. Then I called back, realizing that it would be nice to know exactly where in Boston these people practiced, seeing that this can be a big town. No first names, just addresses - one out of BU, the other in the South End. Whatevs, guess I'll have to do more leg work.

Jacked

I believe it was the middle of October that I went for my "conference" at the orthodontist. Mike was supposed to go with me but he bailed, so all the hard questions probably went unanswered. 

Anyway, I got a cool (read:gross) photo of the insides of my mouth from all sorts of angles (I won't comment on what Mike had to say about my mouth) and a fun pan x-ray of my jaw. Although I had seen x-rays earlier in the year at my periodontist, this was the first time I got a good look at

 the situation. My lower left wisdom tooth boog

les the mind - it grew in completely sideways. That's not going to be fun to take out.

On to the fun part - the molds. I better get these when this is all through so I can show my grandkids how messed up my teeth wear. And because I really want to spray paint them gold (have I mentioned that already?). Apologies in advanced for the slightly blurry pics - I asked the ortho if I could take some pics and decided to not use my flash, which affects the focus on my camera. Hopefully, here's what will one day be referred to as the "before" shot:

I've recently become friends with this girl who shares the same two front teeth as me. She's out of hand pretty so it makes me feel better about my current chompers, although she doesn't have the snaggle tooth. That would be my second tooth on the top on the left, which here is on the right side of the picture.

Again with the bad picture - here we have the top half of my mouth. If you notice the cauliflower looking area on the left side of my mouth (again, shown on the right). That would be the evil tooth that is behind the rest of my molars. My shitty dentist in NYC told me if I wanted it extracted, it would be considered cosmetic and would cost me $600. Fuck that shit. Now it has to come out. Hallelujah! My mom also had an evil tooth, which she had removed when she turned 50.

This here would be the future of my teeth. Sans pink stuff. This is what I payed an extra $100 to see. All I could think to myself is, "Seriously? You could've done a better job at glue those teeth in". I kinda don't believe that my teeth will ever look like this. Maybe it's the pink adhesive. Maybe it's the fact that I've got a good 2+ years to go before I get results.

A side by side comparison. The pink stuff is just so distracting to me. But check out how nice the bottom is supposed to line up. I didn't even care about what my bottom teeth looked like up until this moment right now. Guess I've been too focused on the top teeth to give it much mind.

All this exciting stuff aside, the ortho told me all 4 wisdom teeth have to go (duh), my 1st premolars, which are on the bottom, and my 2nd premolars (evil tooth included!). 8 teeth. I plan on doing it all at once, although she recommended splitting it up. How inconvenient! I don't think I would show up to get any more teeth pulled after dealing with 2 impacted wisdoms.

The verdict for the braces: 24 to 27 months and a lot of money (aside from initials costs, we will be build $350 every 3 weeks, which is how often I have to go to get those suckers tightened - you do the math). The ortho wants me to wait at least a month after oral surgery before they go on. She then gave me a recommendation for a surgeon her office works with regularly (this makes the oral surgery recommendations up to 2 or 3 now). All I have to say is that they better give me some good pain killers throughout this process.

Well, Hello There

Have I really gone this long without posting? Because the saga continues. I'm part too busy and another part sleeping too well (?) since I usually write when I have insomnia. Is this truly the first time I've not been able to sleep since September. Hard to believe. Well, me and my chocolate milk will be getting this baby up to speed right around now, which is 3:41am.